These Two Beliefs Hinder You From Coping With Your Emotions

We can learn to cope with our feelings in a healthy and appropriate way. It is important to let go of two beliefs that prevent us from making space for our emotions.

Approaching our feelings in a way that they do not control our lives is not that simple. Most of us have coping mechanisms that seem to help us deal with emotions, but they may not work in the long term. Especially, two beliefs often unconsciously suppress us.

What beliefs hinder us from dealing with feelings in a healthy way?

1. “Feelings have no place here”

This belief reflects one of the main coping mechanisms — devaluing emotions. Phrases like “Feelings have no place at work” or “Leave your emotions at the door” diminish the significance of feelings that they deserve. Emotions simply exist, regardless of our desire. We cannot leave them at home when going to work, and we cannot completely detach from feelings in various situations.

Some people may show fewer emotions at certain moments, but that does not mean they do not have them. The statement “leave them at the door” is unrealistic and harmful.

2. “Just swallow your feelings”

The second toxic belief is based on suppressing emotions. Phrases like “Don’t act like that,” “Deal with it,” “Hold yourself together” imply one thing: suppress your feelings because others cannot handle them.

At first glance, suppression may seem effective — we temporarily avoid unpleasant sensations. However, the problem is that suppressed emotions resurface over time, for example, in the form of panic attacks or excessive reactions to minor situations. Suppression may work for a while, but it has its limits.

How to better cope with feelings

Unfortunately, the only effective way to process emotions requires more effort than devaluing or suppressing them. We need to make space for our feelings, actively listen to ourselves, and experience what is there.

At first, we may feel anger, but behind it often lies deep sadness and pain. If we allow ourselves to accept these emotions, maybe at some point we can let them go. Only then can we process them and lead a life not controlled by suppressed or ignored feelings.

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